Sunday, December 7, 2014

Get outta this funk!!!!

My brain has been MIA lately. I feel like I cannot get myself together! I haven't been able to cook because I just can't decide what to make. I am sick of everything I have been cooking and want to make some new stuff, but it's hard when you have lots of allergies in the family. I will have to force myself to actually plan somethings. I feel like I am in a funk. I don't really want to do ANYTHING at all...even if it is "fun". I just want to sit here...which does not really work when you have 2 young, active kids. I can't sit here all day and do essentially nothing. They need me. I have to play with them, read to them, teach them, and help them. I don't mind any of that. In fact I really do love to do it, but I need to get myself out of this funk I am in. I am sorry if none of this makes any sense...I am just typing out my feelings and what is coming to me. I don't know if it is my depression or just stress from everyday life wanting me to shut down but it is something and I have to figure it out. What do you do to get yourself out of a funk? I am very blessed, but I still feel like my life isn't how I want it to be, but I know that I am the only one responsible for changing it. I am the only one who can make my life different and I'm working on it. I am working on making slow changes. Right now I am focusing on discipline of the kids. And maybe that is why my brain can't focus on anything else right now, because discipline is hard man!! It is the hardest thing I will ever do in my life. I have to teach my kids how to be good people and grow up learning responsibility and self discipline and self control. Man...it's just hard. There is no other way to say it. It's a full time job just doing that. I don't have room in my brain right now to worry about cooking, cleaning, taking care of myself, but somehow I have to do all of it. Thank goodness I have a great hubby and family around to help me. I think I would COMPLETELY fall apart if I didn't...Because I have them, I am allowed to fall apart a little, sometimes, but I always have to pull myself back together because they need me.

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