Saturday, May 31, 2014

Weight loss....

I am going to attempt to write a blog post today before anything can interrupt me. It may not make any sense b/c I still can't get things right in my head, but at least I am going to write something...

I have been on the "weight loss" track again. I started a few months ago. I am gung ho about watching what I eat for about a day and then I give up. I do that over and over...all the time. This time though, I haven't given up. I may have stopped for a few days and then I get right back on track. My scale went down a little bit, but its pretty much staying where it is right now. I feel like the number will never go down and I KNOW that is my fault because I don't really do anything about it. I feel like there are so many "diets" and so much advice swimming around in my head that I can't get it all straight and I just don't know how or what to eat anymore... For the passed few weeks I had started using my Fitbit again. I love my Fitbit. I was getting a pretty good amount of steps every day too and I was motivated, but on Tuesday I lost it. The damn thing is so little that I don't know where it is. I have looked everywhere. I know that it will turn up again, but until then I am stuck without my motivation...again. I put on my heart rate monitor today thinking that I could watch how many calories I burn today. I thought that would help me. I am slowly finding more motivation inside myself. I have been getting any book I can about losing weight and emotional eating and I have been reading and taking notes like crazy! I think that it is helping me to just keep it in my mind all day. I have also been watching extreme makeover weight loss edition online. Those are inspiring as well. I love seeing their transformation (even though I know that it isn't feasible for me to lose weight that way). Right now I am reading the book Women, Food and God. I am loving it. It is showing me how and why I eat when I am not hungry. I eat for all the wrong reasons. It is helping me to stop and think before I grab something to eat...Am I REALLY hungry or am I just bored, sad, depressed, etc? That has helped me this week. All I can do is stay on this road I am on right now and hope for the best. As long as I can get a little bit of exercise in during the day and watch what I am eating most of the time then I think I will be alright. Just so long as I stay off the stupid scale!!! That is what makes me upset. I need to remember that it is just a number. It does not define me!

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