Tuesday, October 18, 2011
It's hard....(Just write #4)
Sitting here. Listening to the rain pour on the roof of my home. It's very soothing. I am trying to calm down. J had his 15m checkup today and it's too much. Too much information for my brain. Too much stuff for me to remember. I need to write it all down somewhere. Thank God my mom comes with me because she remembers a lot of the stuff that was said. I don't know what I would do without the help. We come home and J is screaming. He won't stop screaming. He doesn't want to play. I realize he dirtied his diaper again and he has a bad rash. He moves so much I can hardly clean it, but it hurts so bad. I know it does. I try not to get stressed from the screaming and moving around. It's hard. I know he doesn't do it on purpose. It hurts, but it's hard. His teeth are coming in all at once. I hope they finish coming in soon. Being a mother is hard. I am trying to handle it, but it's hard. I want to be good at it, but it's hard. I am only human. I make mistakes. I tell myself that it's okay, but it's hard.